For you formed my inward parts

you knitted me together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139:13



One of the most beautiful ideas in the world to me is that God knew me before I was born. He knitted me together, He knew the number of my days, and the number of strands of hair on my head. It’s the same for my children. We were so blessed to get to see this with Elijah. To watch over 40 weeks as God knitted him and then he was delivered to us and we continue to watch him grow. I think I can speak for Timmy and I both when I say that this experience changed us as people…altered the way we view the world around us and our God.

And here we are doing it again….undeservingly blessed. But this pregnancy is having some complications. When I went in for my first OB appt and sonogram (at 8 weeks) the Dr. mentioned an area of blood in my uterus that was the cause of some slight spotting. It was said as if to be no big deal (or that is the way I interpreted it). Over this past weekend I awoke to a large amount of blood loss (what we thought was a miscarriage). We then went to the Weatherford Hospital and were told that the baby was okay and the cause of bleeding was probably a SUBCHORIONIC HEMORRHAGE. We didn’t really get a lot of answers but I didn’t ask many questions once I knew my baby was okay. I went in to my regular OB doctor yesterday. I still don’t have many answers. Moms you probably know what it’s like…you can never think of all the questions you need to ask during the 15 minute doctor’s visit. We were able to see the baby on the sonogram and he/she is still doing very well…growing fine and moving all over…another Elijah?! We were also able to see the subchorionic hemorrhage. If I understand it correctly it is blood that collects in between the uterine wall and the chorionic membrane (which is the final layer of the membrane protecting the baby). This situation does pose a threat to the baby but right now it’s not…it has the potential to create more complications. If it gets too large it could cause the placenta to separate from the uterine wall causing miscarriage early on or preterm birth later. In my case the bleed is connected along one edge of the placenta but is not disrupting placental flow to the baby. My doctor is very optimistic but cautious. So that is what I am. When I was pregnant with Elijah I had just completed my OB semester of nursing school and I spent a lot of time worrying about the could-be complications but never faced any. My situation now is not the worst of the could-bes but it is real to us and a somewhat scary situation. I am still trying to process. Not much can be done…but wait and see how it progresses or dissolves. I am “taking it easy.”

I was torn to write this post. I like to be more private but the truth is I covet the prayers of each person that might read this. And I thank you in advance.

For almost 15 weeks God has been creating BABYDOS. He KNOWS him/her, LOVES him/her, has NOT FORGOTTEN him/her, and still has His perfect HAND ON him/her. I am confident of this.

Ode to Daddy’s

With Father’s Day coming up this weekend I have been thinking about “Daddy’s” a lot lately…which has led me to this post. I want to spend a few moments remembering and honoring the four dads that have impacted my life the most.

Ross Edward Roberts
My daddy’s dad. My grandpa. I was his first grandchild…the number one. And if you were in a room with us for very long he’d let you know it. He worked hard, loved his family, served Jesus, and my grandma was the LOVE of his life. I was in elementary school when he retired from making tools and he started singing bass in a southern gospel group. I spent many weekends traveling with them and listening to them sing. He made me love music and I am so thankful for that time. I was 11 when we found out he had cancer. I remember the moment…the first time I saw my dad cry. For four years he fought…there were ups and downs...we spent countless hours at the hospital. I came to love nursing. I watched my grandmother sit by his side…I knew I wanted to be that kind of a wife. I watched his children and grandchildren gather round…I decided I wanted to have a big family and I was thankful to be a Roberts. This Father’s day will be the 12th one he spends with his Father.






Lonzo Freddie Johnson.
My mom’s daddy. My Pappaw. I was far from his first grandchild….but I was his first in a few years and because my mother was so close to him I got to be. I loved so many things about. He was ornery, loved to sleep in his chair with baseball or a western on in the background, could build anything out of wood, and had the sweetest bald head that I loved to kiss. I have learned many things from his life. He chose to love my mom and because of that love I am passionate about adoption. And mostly he served Jesus every day that I knew him…up to his very last breath.









James Edward Roberts.
My daddy. Growing up I don’t think I was what you would call a “daddy’s girl.” I didn’t prefer one parent to another generally speaking but if I was sick or hurt I wanted my mom. I am very much like her and she understood me…sometimes he didn’t. Still I love my daddy and he loves me and I never remember one single time that I doubted this. He makes me feel safe. I was a very scared child…I had bad nightmares and just was scared of everything and the very idea of my dad brought me comfort. One, I know he would never let anything happen to me. Two, he is big and I was confident he could beat anyone up. As a teenager we butted heads. He is an authoritarian and I lacked respect. I regret those years and am so glad I lived to grow out of them. I’ll never forget when I came to appreciate my dad. I was a freshman in college and I lived in College Station, Tx…about 200 miles away. My dad worked hard (60 hours a week or more) and paid for me to live in this nice apartment…he paid all my bills and gave my money each week for food. It was during this time that I witnessed my family do without so I could have great things. I love my dad and respect is not an issue for me anymore. Thank you, dad for sacrificing like Christ for your family. I couldn’t be more proud to be your daughter.








Timothy Paul Fatheree.
My babies daddy. I could spend the rest of my life trying and not fully articulate how I feel about my husband as a father. It wasn’t long after we met that I knew I wanted to be a Fatheree and I wanted Timmy to father my kids!! He is sweet, funny, and VERY good looking. Parenting alongside him is one of my favorite things in this world. What makes him the best father to me is not that he works so very hard to provide for us…which he does. It’s not that he would come home from a long day at work and would sit and talk to Elijah for like thirty minutes when Elijah was just a few months old…which he did. It’s not even that last night when Elijah was having a melt down at 3 am that he walked around with him until he calmed down and went to sleep…which he did when I was at my wits end. What makes him the BEST FATHER to me that instead of getting caught up in wanting our kids to be cool, smart, athletic …all Timmy wants for Elijah is that he loves Jesus and lives his life to serve Him. And this drives everything about his parenting. Sweetie, thank you.

I am humbled and thankful this Father’s Day weekend. Not everyone has grandparents or close relationships with them. Not every little girl has a daddy with whom she feels so safe. And not every mother has such a man to stand with her as I do. God has allowed all these things for me…without Him I would have none and would not appreciate them.

our mvp is one...and then some

Elijah is one year, two months, three weeks, and five days…probably should’ve wrote this yesterday. I was finally able to get some pictures taken by my great friend Michelle Travis last week. I thought I would post them along with some fun facts about him being one. But let me just say. I LOVE this kid. Sure I love it when he goes to Nonnie & Papa’s or Mawmaw & PopPop’s for the weekend…but I LOVE it when he comes home. I love to hear him jabber because he has so much to say. Or watch him spin in circles because he has so much energy to get out. Watching him transform into a toddler is not easy…we all wish they can be babies longer or that time would slow down. Right now I am just so thankful that I get to witness this transformation. And that God is letting me raise this really cool kid.

Five favorite things to do:
1. play chase…or as we like to call it “I’m gonna get you”
2. watch Fresh Beat Band…works EVERY TIME
3. play in his room with the door shut…mommy’s not fond of this one
4. talk on the phone to daddy, nonnie, papa…anyone that would call
5. swing outside…or do anything outside

Three things I always know he’ll eat:
Elijah is a PICKY eater and sometimes he will not eat much of anything. Sometimes he will eat something on Monday and on Tuesday it goes RIGHT on the floor.
1. sweet peas…yuck I say
2. banana’s
3. ritz crackers

Two things that will make him laugh:
1. tickle him…anywhere…he is so ticklish
2. fall down…or get hurt and make an “ow” noise…

One thing he says the most:
Who can guess it? If you spend anytime with Elijah you will hear this over and over. He says other words but this one was his first and definitely his favorite.
1. Dad

Ma-ma-ma-ma

In honor of Mother’s Day this past weekend I want to blog about being me being a mother. It is fun and challenging. The fun is limitless. Elijah is at such a fun age. He is so sweet and loves giving kisses! He doesn’t give them away freely or every time you ask but he will get in these moods and he will just kiss over and over again. Or sometimes he will be walking by and just come and kiss me on the leg and keep on walking. Awesome moments. But oh is it challenging and I have only been doing it a little over a year. The challenge of disciplining a toddler makes getting up at 3 and 6 am seem easy. When should I be firm? When should I show grace? I have a feeling I will be praying this prayer the rest of my life.

I am thankful that I am not doing it alone though. I have a great family that is invested in our child. And parenting with Timmy is probably my favorite part of it. This is not to say that we always see eye to eye and that I am never a brat to him. Because sometimes we don’t and many times I am. It is kind of funny…when Elijah was first born the biggest adjustment for me was no longer just being me and Timmy. He is my love. My first love and I didn’t want anything to come in between that. But Elijah has not one time come in between us but brought us closer together. And Timmy and Elijah both make me want to draw closer to the TRUE LOVE, Christ.

I am also thankful for some wonderful mother friends. Not just because they are amazing photographers and take great pics of my kid. Or because it’s fun to watch the kids play together. But because at a time in your life when you need it they stop by your house with a pretty bracelet to say “happy mother’s day…what a wonderful opportunity we have to train up Godly children.” Or another that will say, “I had to come to a point where I wanted God more than this baby.” I don’t know how I acquired such friends but I am thankful. They make me a better mother.

Babydos is the size of a sweet pea now and has a beating heart…and we look forward to hearing it at our first doctor’s appointment a week from today. I am thankful that God is using my body to grow this baby but it does take something out of me. The better part of this week I have felt somewhat nauseated and sick and EXHAUSTED. But it is definitely worth it.

a new beginning...again

I am terrible at blogging. The last time I blogged Elijah was 6 months old and the time before that when I found out he was a HE. But I want to do better. I am not really good with words. I won’t have cute catchy titles. I may or may not be consistent. But I do have lots of thoughts…many of which I will type and then quickly backspace for fear of people realizing HOW CRAZY I REALLY AM.

So here I am. My first post for the new baby. I have LOTS of thoughts on this. I am going to start by answering some questions that SOME people may have. Or maybe no one REALLY cares about the details of my life (besides my parents who know them anyway) and that is alright too…blogging will be therapeutic.

Were we trying to have another baby?

Yes. You make think we are crazy. But we want as many kids as God will give us….however He decides to give them to us. Timmy was ready for me to get pregnant again about a month after Elijah was born. I don’t even remember the month of Elijah was born. Over time (many months later) we thought you know what if it happens “accidentally on purpose” then that’s fine…but I didn’t want to say “YES, we are trying.” It happened with Elijah so easily. Well, it turned out we had to be a little more intentional this time…I will spare you all the details (even this might be too much). But here we are against all odds…and if you’ve ever studied procreation or the human body then you know it’s against ALL odds…with a baby that God is knitting together in my womb.

How far along am I?

My rough guestimate is about 5 weeks which will make this babies due date Dec 30, 2011. However, I am not scheduled for a dr’s visit for three more weeks so until then it is very much a guess.

How do I feel?

Over the last few days I have experienced a gamut of emotion. I took the first pregnancy test on Sunday (I know it was SOON but I was anxious). Well it was negative and I was DISAPPOINTED. So on Tuesday Timmy insisted I take another one. I was pretty NERVOUS and hesitant but I did and it came out positive. I was pretty SHOCKED…not shocked like I wasn’t expecting it but shocked like ‘can this really be true?!” I was HAPPY also. I wanted to wait and tell our family in like a special way…maybe Mother’s Day or something. Timmy, on the other hand, can never wait that long. He was the same way with Elijah…very excited and ready to tell right away. So we immediately made the calls. My favorite response from my sister… “Gosh. How many kids are you gonna have?” or “is it a boy or a girl?” “I am not sure, Austynne, the stick you pee on doesn’t tell you that.” But still most of Tuesday evening it was surreal. Wednesday morning I saw Elijah sleeping in his crib…he still looks so little. And I started thinking about how he is not going to understand why this new person is getting so much attention from his parents…and it made me SAD. Not the regret kind of sad but the looking over at my baby who just grew up into a big brother kind of sad. It is so hard to explain. Luckily for me it seems parents of multiple children have understood my heart. It is just this…when life changes it can be so happy and exciting but there is still some grief for the life leaving behind. Starting a new chapter is still closing an old one. And for every new chapter in my life (hs grad, marriage, birth of Elijah, moving, etc.) I have somewhat mourned the life that was. But a few hours later I was going thru old pictures and I came across the very first picture I took of Elijah. I took it when they first brought him to my room (on the way to the NICU). When I saw the picture my heart smiled with EXCITEMENT.












I can’t believe we get to do this again.

We are so blessed and undeserving.